Distance (And Death) Don’t Matter – Closeness Is An Affair Of The Heart

After Babys Bath

I’ve been noticing my Facebook friends posting photos of their mothers as profile pics, and I just finished reading a blog post by Life In The Boomer Lane about LBL’s own mother.  This, in turn, brought up thoughts of my own mother, who recently passed away in mid-February of this year.

Here in the U.S., we celebrate a holiday (not one that companies give to their employees as a day off) known as Mother’s Day.  This year, Mother’s Day is going to be a little more difficult for my sister and I; we’ll remember Mom with much love and a little sadness.

Mom was one of the nicest people I ever knew.  She was nice to everybody – even those people whose foibles may have annoyed her a little (sometimes, that included me).  She was the eternal optimist.  She loved hugs, soothed over worries, cooked our favorite foods, and always tried to please.  She never ever complained – even during the dark days of Dad’s drinking and her final days laying ill in her hospice-provided hospital bed.  Her’s really was an unconditional love.

I always had flowers sent to Mom.  Because she’s not around this Mother’s Day, I’m having flowers sent to my sister instead – a mother, herself, of 4 boys who have grown up to be awesome men (although we all did wonder at times about the twins ever making it to their 21st birthday).

If you have a mother who is still alive, I urge you to reach out to her.  Call her.  Visit her. Do what you can for her while she is still living.  Don’t ever wait until she is gone and then have regrets.  Give her flowers now while she can enjoy their beauty and fragrance; don’t wait until she is dead and then put flowers on her grave or urn niche where she may or may not enjoy them (depending upon your religious and metaphysical belief system).

Wish your mother a happy Mother’s Day.  And remember:  no matter how far away you may be from your mother, closeness is an affair of the heart.


1 Comment

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One response to “Distance (And Death) Don’t Matter – Closeness Is An Affair Of The Heart

  1. ahhhh dear Becky, beautifully written and so true. The young photo of your Mom is precious, she seems in both photos to have a brightness in life, an aliveness many lack. Yes, even now nearly 12 years after my own mom passed there is still a bittersweetness about holidays in general and Mother’s Day in particular. Her birthday occasionally falls on Mother’s Day (or vice versa!) and I particularly remember one birthday we all drove up in the hills, saw a strange column of what looked like smoke, and then discovered Mt St Helens had blown her top on Mom’s Day.

    The way you describe your mom reminds me so much of my own mom. The kindness and unconditional love, always helping and encouraging others, never complaining, even when I made her cry with my wild ways.. even dad drinking in the early years… and at the end in a hospice bed. They came from a special era, our moms. I find so much strength now in thinking about her troubles in life and how she overcame them and always stayed positive… and oh her sense of humor!

    We are firmly our own selves, and yet we are also a reflection in time, a ripple, of our mothers, and the older I get the more she is present. I just kick myself for not recording more of her songs and stories!